


along with the sunshine

by taonsils (mirokkuma)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Belly Rubs, Masturbation, Multi, Slice of Life, Trans Character, ftm ksoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirokkuma/pseuds/taonsils
Summary: (mostly) soft (definitely) queer slice of life drabbles❀





	1. pcy/hzt

**Author's Note:**

> I've been promising myself and anyone else who may want them some relatable™ drabbles for years, so here we finally are ! mostly going to be aro/ace/genderfeelsy content☆ミ
> 
> come say hi on [tumbl](http://taonsil.tumblr.com) or [tweeter](https://twitter.com/taonsil) if you have any questions/suggestions/want to talk ! ヾ(･ェ･｡)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings/notes: this entire thing is about discussing jerking off. ace hzt, autochoris/ace pcy

"I think about other people," Zitao says, picking at the fabric stretched over his knee. "I mean, together. Instead of with me."

"I guess I kind of do, too." Chanyeol shrugs. Zitao shakes his head, and Chanyeol feels a twinge of annoyance. How can Zitao disagree with what goes on in Chanyeol's own head?

"I don't mean specific ones. Like watching porn. Not like that."

Chanyeol shrugs emphatically. Zitao is impossible. "Then how?" He asks, irritation flared. This is why they rarely attempt heart to hearts. Well, that and numerous other reasons. Chanyeol's a coward when it comes to this; he tries to avoid acknowledging it whenever possible.

"I can't explain how it looks." It's rare that Zitao blushes, but he's rubbing at his nape like it might be feeling uncomfortably warm. He's often bashful, never embarrassed. "I don't watch it. Porn. Bodies aren't interesting." He draws his legs in against himself a little tighter. He almost looks smaller than Chanyeol. "The noises bother me. And their faces." Zitao presses his mouth into his knees. "They aren't kind to each other. I don't like it."

Fair enough. Chanyeol's just always got a pressing determination that makes him refuse to give in after the first hurdle. Or even when he's well and truly useless, tired and tangled in this particular set of hurdles. He's tried pretty much every category listed, from sites so soft he hasn't bothered deleting the browser history to ones he's had late night internet-police paranoia about. "I get that." Chanyeol rarely gets off there and then when he watches; just stores the visuals, ready to be replayed another time, a different setting. He doesn't tell Zitao that that's what the others think he's watching when he takes his laptop from the table on his way to the bathroom.

How he and Zitao ended up on the practice room couch discussing this is something of a mystery. Chanyeol really has no pressing urge to know anything about Zitao's dick. Zitao has no urge to know anything about what's in anyone's pants, but he is open to discussing how weird everyone else and their obsession with touching each other is. And Chanyeol likes to hear about that; he feels less weird himself for how many pretty girls he gives lines about having no time at all for slipping away with. Men, too. If it wasn't girls the answer was obvious, he'd thought, until he was sitting back to a locked cubicle door with his suit jacket drawn tightly around himself, rocking to try and ease away the discomfort of strong hands that just assumed where they were welcome.

Chanyeol likes everyone and can get close to no one, but it's in his nature to try and try again.

Zitao's glittery new bracelet catches the light as he stretches both arms out, linking his fingers and flexing his hands back in turn. "I don't do it much anyway, we're so busy. I just fall asleep sometimes. I sleep well like that." He turns his hands and slots silver ringed fingers together. "Or I get bored and change my mind. Then it's just a waste of time."

"I finish what I start," Chanyeol says grimly, because that's often not a particularly fun experience. It's weird, really, he thought Zitao would be like that too. Zitao's every bit as headstrong determined. Zitao isn't trying to prove any points to himself, though, that's probably where the difference lies.

It's unfortunately, annoyingly easy talking to Zitao about this. In the same way he never gives Chanyeol a damn ounce of respect, he never cares about a thing Chanyeol tells him. Never says it's strange, never asks questions that prod uncomfortably. Zitao's a chronic oversharer, and if Chanyeol's worried about anything Zitao's usually been there first. Or totally hasn't been there and just doesn't give a shit, is more the case.

With it empty like this the studio feels too big for a conversation in such small voices. Chanyeol checks the time and then draws his fingers right down into his sleeves. "So why do we keep trying?" Way, way easier hiding behind being in this together. "If we don't even like it that much. Why do we keep trying to make it work?"

With a great sigh Zitao suddenly loses interest in keeping himself upright, swaying unsteadily before planting himself against Chanyeol's side. Chanyeol didn't sign up for cuddles just by taking a seat beside Zitao, although one is basically inevitable at some point with the other. And he is getting some free counselling, so fine, Zitao's permitted to settle in at his shoulder.

"I don't try, hyung. It happens sometimes. Bodies just," Zitao waves a hand. His bracelets clink. "We have a lot of stress. And a lot of excitement. And I think sometimes your head can't control everything."

"Why do you keep making it sound that simple?" Chanyeol huffs. Wondering how he was going to tell his mom he's into guys was easier than having to pretend he's into anyone. He just can't stop the lies when someone else is fucked out, asking how the after party was for him. No one bothers Zitao for having done no more than take selfies with pretty girls and collect social media handles from hot guys, bemused by the appeal of what's going on in the darker corners. Zitao's nights looks nicer, but Zitao just has a knack for making things painfully simple. 

"This is stupid," Chanyeol decides, sinking deeper into his hoodie. How they even started passing the time with a conversation about jacking it is a mystery, let alone how it's digressed into another of his misery spirals.

It feels very much like Zitao is intentionally nuzzling against his shoulder, but he lifts away before Chanyeol can complain. Chanyeol is volatile to Zitao's affection because he kind of likes it deep down; that he does know.

"You can talk to me about it," Zitao says, and his eyes are doing that soft shimmery thing. "I don't know why you find it so complicated, but you're just stubborn like that," he adds. Chanyeol shoves him. He doesn't care how pretty Zitao's eyes are or how reassuringly soft his tone is, Chanyeol is no longer available as a pillow.


	2. dks/osh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings/notes: misgendering..thoughts? soo is pre-t.  
> this is v pointedly for cat bc we have a Situation (kkt serious) (ilu it’s funny♡)

When he's feeling out of sorts, Kyungsoo cooks. When he's unfairly taken it out on Sehun and Chanyeol he cooks for them. All Chanyeol ever wants is pasta and Sehun could eat chicken all day long, so Kyungsoo has water on to boil, oil heating and breadcrumb dried onto his fingers. He's spread out, defensively placed items on every surface, taking up the counter and the island. Kyungsoo is an organised cook; Sehun and Chanyeol can barely identify a butter knife between them, they're not to know that Kyungsoo is strategically keeping them away.

Kyungsoo doesn't want to talk about it. He just wants them to eat.

 

"I'm really sorry," Chanyeol says as he refills his plate from the stove. Kyungsoo's been cleaning up the mess, not ignoring them. Kyungsoo is a man of few words and probably seems like he does a lot of things for reasons he isn't. "Earlier was.. We should have said something."

"It doesn't matter." Kyungsoo gestures for Chanyeol to dig to the bottom of the pan, where the vegetables will have settled. It really doesn't matter. Often he doesn't want to talk about things because it's just a waste of energy. "I was put out for five minutes, if that. Eat, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo nods to his refilled plate. "I'll join you when I've finished out here."

"It's like the third time it's happened."

"Unsurprisingly," Kyungsoo points out. Chanyeol has a dot of sauce above his lip and a pout so severe Kyungsoo's tempted to step over and make it even worse. He flicks at Chanyeol with the dishcloth in his left hand. "I'm the one who decides if it's a problem, and it's not," he insists, hanging the cloth and turning to get a plate for himself. "It's kind of funny, really."

"Right?" Chanyeol agrees easily. "I mean like, me and Sehun? I guess I can see why people might– but dude, no, like no offence to you being into him and whatever. I love him and all, but.." Chanyeol shudders emphatically. He'd sooner lay down his life for Sehun than kiss him.

 

Chanyeol slurps and chews his way through the portion of pasta that was tomorrow's leftovers, eventually bringing the pan and a spoon back to his chair to work on through the evening. He falls asleep barely past nine, and startles himself with the sound as he clatters the pan back onto the stove on his staggering way to bed twenty minutes later.

Kyungsoo's mother was dubious of Chanyeol squeezing into the spare room (Chanyeol's was delighted and brought them over-filled take out boxes from the restaurant as a housewarming gift), but it was less practical having only two paying the rent and a room standing empty. Kyungsoo's known Chanyeol since before he stopped wearing glasses, and Chanyeol's known Kyungsoo long enough to have contributed to choosing his name. It's rarely a problem that he's here. He and Sehun being a couple doesn't mean Chanyeol is less relevant or entitled to space.

Sehun's had his face planted in Kyungsoo's thighs for the past twenty minutes, lax and drifting in and out of sleep. When Chanyeol leaves he squirms onto his back, limbs so long it's like watching him move in slow motion.

"You're overfeeding me," he tells Kyungsoo in his baby voice. Kyungsoo pinches lightly under the point of his chin when he smiles. "I'm so sleepy."

With Chanyeol gone either Sehun lifts or Kyungsoo pushes, and soon Sehun's sleepier than ever with his shirt up around his ribs and Kyungsoo's hand a warm pressure on his belly.

"I wasn't gonna bring earlier up again, but I guess Chanyeol did," Sehun says, hands held limply over his chest. Kyungsoo talks when he wants to talk, and Sehun listens and files the information away. But Chanyeol's proactive and likes to ask when he isn't sure. Chanyeol didn't mention that he'd talked to Kyungsoo, but he did coincidentally know that Kyungsoo wasn't mad. "Happy you're ok ‘n stuff."

"Yeah. It's not like that guy meant any harm." Kyungsoo angles the heel of his palm against Sehun's full belly just so, so Sehun's feet dig into the arm of the couch for leverage, seeking out harder pressure himself. Chanyeol's right that it's the third time it's happened, and Kyungsoo wasn't lying that it was only a brief annoyance. He gave them the silent treatment for the rest of the afternoon because Kyungsoo just runs out of steam to talk sometimes. It unnerves them both; he doesn't blame Chanyeol for wanting to check in, or Sehun asking for a report.

It's ok, though. It's just one of those things. Kyungsoo has big eyes and plush lips and often doesn't bother with the discomfort of heel lifts in his shoes, already a few uncomfortable centimetres too long in the toes. People instinctively look to Chanyeol, shoulder to shoulder with Sehun. Perhaps if they were more ambiguous – _partner_ – people would look down to Kyungsoo tucked in at Sehun's side. Most people who know Sehun know he's gay. Anyone looking for his boyfriend looks to Chanyeol.

 

 

A month later makes it four times. Chanyeol isn't with them this time – he does (kind of) have his own friends to hang out with from time to time. Sehun just wanted to check out the kakaofriends collaboration items at The Face Shop, it's not like he needed Chanyeol or anything. Although Kyungsoo doesn't understand what a cc cushion is, and pointedly reminds Sehun that he already has concealer ("Not with Frodo on," Sehun pouts. Kyungsoo's brows knit. "Do you want hot water for the rest of the month?"). He does concede to having a mask sheet bought for him. Sehun hugs and squeezes and shakes him right there by the lip creamers. No one looks twice.

Kyungsoo's carrying the small, stiff card bag and making a beeline for the exit when he feels Sehun's arm lifting away from around his shoulders.

"Gege," Sehun says as he detaches himself from Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo turns to watch him drifting away to a tall man at the day and night skincare counter. Kyungsoo recognises Yifan more from Sehun identifying him than his face (and because he's wearing his glasses today. That helps). Yifan did readthroughs for Sehun's Mandarin essays earlier in the year in return for guided tours around the area, and they stayed friends, if more in liked tweets than in person.

"You would be looking at this stuff," Sehun laughs, startling Yifan and immediately soothing it away with his disarming smile. "I couldn't even get a concealer if we wanted to keep a roof over our heads."

Yifan has a lot less hair than he did the only time Kyungsoo saw him in person before. His hands look too big for picking through the tiny serum testers, and he looks stressed as though he somehow wasn't anticipating it.

Stuck in crowded, perfumed cosmetics hell for a little longer, Kyungsoo shuffles a slow full circuit of the quietest counters to pass time. He hasn't worn nail polish in years – since before they made this gel stuff and all these pastel colours. It's not something Kyungsoo really committed to memory, that this all used to be exciting. He does remember taking the train with Chanyeol and adding up how many bottles would come for free off the coupon he always got for birthdays. Kyungsoo had braids Chanyeol would pull back over his shoulders when he leant down to squint at the shelves. Chanyeol wore his glasses and Kyungsoo didn't back then.

There's a shade of strong orange called _Outta Here_. Kyungsoo wishes.

Sehun only seems to be quizzing the poor giant about expensive overnight serums when Kyungsoo wanders back in their direction, though. Kyungsoo raises the bag in his hand in lieu of a wave when he catches Sehun's eye. No rush, but also Sehun promised they wouldn't be here all day.

Taking the hint, Sehun derails the conversation himself. "I should get back to my boyfriend," he says before Yifan has to answer why a guy in his 20's is looking at this rich old lady junk.

"No worries." Yifan pats Sehun's shoulder. Sehun laughs just because he likes Yifan, returning the gesture as he turns.

"I just abandoned him! He'll be bored to death waiting around here."

Kyungsoo steps nearer as Sehun steps away. He wraps a long arm back around Kyungsoo's shoulders, squeezing him in tight against his side. It'd be easy to lose someone so small in a mall this big if they were a wanderer.

"I saw him on your Instagram," Yifan says as they pass him. He's so close Kyungsoo can smell the wet tester on the back of his hand. His voice travels straight over Kyungsoo's head. "It's cute that you're gym buddies."

 

Kyungsoo wonders what exactly Sehun says about him sometimes, if the description could so easily fit Chanyeol too. Does Chanyeol look the movie critiquing, home baking type on his Instagram?

"Don't we seem too close for people to just think you're a friend?" Sehun huffs. Kyungsoo, as usual, has just been quiet since they got in. Sehun was more interested in cuddling than playing with his new mask sheets. "People must think you're like," he wriggles further down, pressing his face to Kyungsoo's waist and throwing an arm around his hips. "I dunno." He's such a sullen little boy on Kyungsoo's behalf sometimes.

"Your weird goth sister," Kyungsoo says for him. Kyungsoo's hair is clipped short and neat at the back, and his glasses are a little too broad for his face, because the men's section only had one size. He doubts many people have mistaken him for Sehun's brother.

Snuffling more persistently is Sehun's reply to that. Kyungsoo trails his jaw with his fingernails, intending to drop his hand to Sehun's shoulder. Sehun tenses into the scrape of nails just below his ear, so Kyungsoo only moves down the thick tendon into his neck.

"I'd hardly call you two gym buddies, though."

"Listen– no, ok." Sehun's throat is tighter from the attention than he'd realised. "He lifts, I provide the playlist and encouragement. _Maybe_ I accidentally get him and the weights in the background of my selfies sometimes. We're buddies in a gym. Gym buddies."

"I see." Kyungsoo's smile is lopsided. Sehun snorts a hot breath against his side.

Now and then Kyungsoo thinks about that – matching up with what people anticipate him to be. Usually when he's waiting for dough to prove and has literally nothing better to do than wonder if he should tail Chanyeol to the gym sometimes. Maybe he could start working out; compensate for his height with muscle.

Sometimes he thinks maybe he could stop wearing shapeless unisex pools of black, get something fitted like Sehun wears. Blue maybe. Or beige, even, if Kyungsoo was feeling adventurous. But then H&M have another sale, and Kyungsoo does love dark sweaters.

"Good thing I'm not the jealous type, hm?" Kyungsoo teases with a gentle prod under Sehun's chin. He shouldn't, it stretches it out, but Kyungsoo ripped open and pulled off his binder through the neck of his sweater when they got in. He's just all soft doughy skin under the dark fabric, not a muscle in sight. "Everyone thinks you and Yeollie look perfect together," he says, "Both so tall and handsome."

Sehun gags. "Dunno why anyone would think I'm into that beanpole," he grumbles with a possessive squeeze of his arm around Kyungsoo's thigh.

Kyungsoo musses the back of Sehun's hair, smiling at how his mouth silently whines. "He's bulked up, though. I think he looks more like a churro."

"Then what am I?"

"My boyfriend." Kyungsoo smooths the errant sections of Sehun's coppery hair back down and then continues, combing his fingers through and feeling Sehun getting heavier against his side. Sehun hums and wriggles in to fit more snug around Kyungsoo's legs.

"And maybe a carrot, or something."

"Hey–"


	3. dks/osh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #tinytransboyproblems  
> this is set in the same 'verse as the previous sesoo drabble but takes place before it❀

Other than for gym back in highschool, Kyungsoo has never voluntarily worn sweatpants in is life. As comfortably slouchy as Chanyeol makes them look, it's just not for him (Chanyeol's legs are practically as long as the whole of Kyungsoo and still look _good_ in thick, baggy fabric. Kyungsoo wears tight jeans so it's at least discernible where his thigh ends and his lower leg starts). But here he is looking at them. In great detail, like there's a lot to be studied in a pair of $9 sweats.

Even flanked by Sehun and Chanyeol when they came into the store, Kyungsoo has been a little pink in the cheeks as he's puttered through menswear. It's only the small clothes section of their local supermarket, nothing like those nice stores where a staff member will trail you with suggestions and help you into clothes. It's just that Kyungsoo has never stood on this side of the aisle before. Lost in a familiar space.

Sehun wandered off five minutes ago to look for dinner (they _have_ dinner, but Sehun's terrible at visualising ingredients as actual meals), leaving Kyungsoo with only Chanyeol for assistance. And cover, but that feels stupid. Kyungsoo could just be browsing for a partner. Or, y'know, perfectly entitled to be here buying whatever he likes.

Kyungsoo isn't quite there yet, though. He's hyper aware of how tall everyone passing through this area is and wants to kick himself each time he ducks his head and makes way for someone to pass. He belongs here too. He just..has to get used to settling in. Like not startling like a mouse at the sound of heavy footsteps, god.

Hand fiddling with the zipper on his jacket, Kyungsoo stares ahead more determinedly. These sweats don't have a stupid slogan printed on them anywhere. Nice.

"There you are!" Chanyeol and his elephant footsteps come to a halt, and Chanyeol's chest bumps and then weighs against Kyungsoo's shoulder. "I thought you'd run away to catch Sehun or something, I looked around the jeans like three times and–," Dropping the leg of the sweats is what draws Chanyeol's attention to them. Kyungsoo's poker face is a strong one. "Um," Chanyeol says, "You wanted jeans?"

"Yeah." After a lot of pacing beside the socks waiting for the coast to be clear, so no one had to see Kyungsoo mistakenly hold up a pair that when unfolded spanned from the floor to his chest. "I already looked. There's nothing suitable, so I..looked around, and.." Kyungsoo may have been hesitant to embark on his first venture into menswear, but he sure hasn't been to start replacing his old clothes. All the damn pockets are too small since he upgraded phone. Sweaters are so much easier. "I didn't want to leave with nothing."

"Nothing?" Chanyeol echoes. He sounds disappointed. He is - his hands are on Kyungsoo's shoulders, thumbs rubbing under the hood of his jacket. Kyungsoo _can't_ leave with nothing after all this time working up to coming here.

"Yeah, so. I figured I'd look at these. The sizing.." If Kyungsoo thought being here at all was something to be self-conscious of, having Chanyeol bear hugging him as they shuffle along the row of sweatpants is surprisingly ok. Chanyeol is comfortable here, and Kyungsoo is focused on his weight. "The jeans are kind of..if I have the right waist measurement, the legs are too long." Sweats are just L, M, S.

There's a dark maroon pair in S. Chanyeol's hand stretches over Kyungsoo and rummages in the hangers behind. "This looks ok?" He pulls a pair out. XS.

"No," Kyungsoo says before Chanyeol can pass them to him. They'd fit a waist like Chanyeol's or Sehun's, but it's the same with shirts – designed like tubes, straight up and down, cutting into Kyungsoo's hips.

  
"There are so many short guys?" Chanyeol sees Kyungsoo's point about the socks. They're just standard size, but they'd be far too big for Kyungsoo's feet. They don't even look as though they'd fit in his shoes, already one size larger than he takes. "Like, I know so many short guys? Where are they getting all their clothes from?"

He has the opposite problem - ankles breezy, sleeves never quite that bit long enough unless he buys oversized. Some things here would _fit_ Kyungsoo; none would be the right size.

Kyungsoo shrugs, scuffing the toes of his shoes as he trudges along the aisle. He texted Sehun to come back and meet them so they can leave, and he hopes Sehun's not going to take his time about it. Bright side - at least it'll save some money. Kyungsoo can just look online, or ask on a forum or something. Chanyeol's right; Kyungsoo rarely stands eye to eye with other guys, but there are plenty who aren't giants like his boyfriend and Chanyeol.

A display stand of jewellery, thin scarves, cheap watches in pretty containers is in the centre of the divide between womenswear and mens. There's a lot of options, even if you don't want them. Just once Kyungsoo bought a cut plastic beaded bracelet from here, when he was maybe 16 and feeling grown up. Sehun liked the feel of the faux suede tie more than Kyungsoo liked wearing it.

Still edgy about this whole venture, it startles Kyungsoo when Chanyeol's big hand suddenly engulfs his shoulder again.

"Are you ok? You look super flushed." Chanyeol squeezes. They've been through enough of these kinds of experiences together that Kyungsoo knows what he means is _do_ _you need to go to the bathroom and cry_. Kyungsoo's actually pretty ok. Everything is a learning curve right now.

It's not that Kyungsoo is upset, just that the whole store is overheated and then to compensate there's air conditioning. The whole mismatch of artificial temperature is adding to Kyungsoo's face burning up, while a stale, warm breeze blows down his neck. While they're still here he can't bear to unzip his jacket even an inch. With his year-worn binder it's inevitable after a few hours that things start to descend and spread, and it's not a baggy jacket, but it's covering the curve better than just his sweater alone.

"Hey," Sehun's voice comes from the end of the aisle. "What about these?"

Sehun's holding a pair of jeans exactly like Kyungsoo wants. Black, textured, slim fit (Kyungsoo may not exactly _be_ slim fit, but honestly, at his height..).

Chanyeol squawks. Kyungsoo pats his hand and squirms out from under it to meet Sehun halfway.

"You said there wasn't anything," Sehun's scowl is entirely for Chanyeol. Kyungsoo takes the jeans from him, looking a much happier kind of flushed before he's even measured them against himself.

Chanyeol scowls right back. At least he was here trying, not eating free deli samples. "Where the hell– We looked at everything."

"I came from the other side of the aisle. Did you look round there?" Sehun points over the top of the high shelf beside them. "Those look fine. And if they're ok, there's lots– Soo, they're your size, right? Soo?"

If Kyungsoo looked a little pink before, now he's beet red. Sehun touches his ear to feel the heat. Kyungsoo isn't upset, but right now he feels muddled - the anticipation of coming here, the fear of being questioned, the sizing not being as straightforward as expected, the damn heat. ( _Watermelon head_ , his mother used to call it when she got one of her stress headaches. Kyungsoo never really got it, but he does now. One move in the wrong direction and the weight would keel him over.)

"It. Yeah. They're fine." Folding the jeans to hook over his arm, Kyungsoo gestures for them to go ahead of him. "I'll get them. Thanks, Hunnie."

Sehun puffs his cheeks. If it was fine he'd be getting fawned over for doing a good job. The fewer words Kyungsoo says the bigger sign it is that they shouldn't press the point, though. Chanyeol's the kind of person who laughs misfortune off, and Sehun can get past most things after a nice long cuddling session. Kyungsoo..he tends to shut down. Or cook. They do have a lot of ingredients at home.

Sehun probably just picked them up without even noticing it was the teen section (Sehun still _is_ a teen, but Kyungsoo doesn't recall them having an 18-19 section). Kyungsoo is 21 and has been a size 10 for the last five years. Kyungsoo is going to be a man in jeans with a 13-14y.o label in the back. It's..fine.

But, oh. There's another realisation. "Actually," Kyungsoo gives Sehun's waist a pat and Chanyeol a less gentle push. "There's something else I need to look at. You two go ahead."

 

It's not like Kyungsoo doesn't _like_ cute patterns, or comic books, or.. well, no, he's not a fan of bright colours, that's ruled out. He just isn't a teenager anymore. Especially not a thirteen year old.

Especially not a thirteen year old, because the waistband and thighs around the briefs cut in tight. He's too big. Nearly ten years too old; three centimetres shorter than the height average given on the label. The jeans were practically perfect, anyway.

And so is Sehun's sweater, when the sleeves are rolled up to Kyungsoo's elbows. Loose enough that Kyungsoo can breathe comfortably again without having to focus too much on the different view when he looks down, and room to spare for Sehun's arms to sneak in when he's full and sleepy and cuddly.

"Room for me?" Chanyeol asks when he comes back from the kitchen to find the start of a cuddle pile. He's been drying his hands on his jeans, and they're still damp and hot where they fumble against Kyungsoo's forearms as Chanyeol wriggles his way comfortably against Kyungsoo's other side.

"I didn't agree to this," Sehun grumbles, like he's the one having to deal with two sets of elbows in his waist and two heavy weights on his shoulders. Chanyeol raises his head to respond. Kyungsoo shushes them both, and Sehun comfortably settles again once he's had a placating kiss to his forehead.

Anyway, if Kyungsoo was the same size as these two they'd break the couch.


	4. dks/pcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> autochoris/ace pcy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this of course applies to any fic, but this especially is a Not all aces fic, just an individual experience I wanted to write about. autochoris is defined as 'a disconnect between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal' ie having fantasies, an interest in porn etc  
> anyway I dont see much ace fic getting more in depth with exploring how these kinds of things can be, so this is exploring a relationship and negotiation for an ace who has an active but disconnected interest (+ I Always low-key write pcy as autochoris - the first of these drabbles was him messily trying to explain, so this is a more active exploration of it☀︎  
> ((me w my head in my hands: why have I written 3k of pcy fretting over jerking off)

"Hey, I dunno if now is ok but– I like this one," Chanyeol announces as he speeds into the room, MacBook open and tucked between his chest and the crook of his elbow.

Kyungsoo shifts over on the couch, still reading. The smack of the laptop on the table jolts his nerves, but it's the sounds coming from it that has him forgetting what line he was even on. He blinks slowly, from the screen back to his book. It's porn. Ok then.

"Uh." Chanyeol clears his throat. Hoisting his feet up so he can tuck himself in knees to chest makes the couch cushion dip, tilting Kyungsoo. "Sorry, I didn't realise you were doing something."

Kyungsoo looks back to the screen. He tilts his head, then closes the book in his lap. "I've forgotten everything I just read."

"I didn't– were you studying? I'm sorry, I didn't think. It.." Chanyeol is all but disappearing into his hoodie now, somehow sinking away into it like he's dissolving. Kyungsoo kind of was studying, but the tips of Chanyeol's ears are as scarlet as his hair. He was basically at the end of that paragraph anyway.

"I was due a break." Kyungsoo glances at the screen again as he leans over to set his book on the table. It looks fairly standard - a cheap rental apartment, two guys around their age - and that kind of makes it cuter that Chanyeol charged in here at such a speed with it. "Yeollie, I thought you were working." He's trying to sound accusing, but it's hard to keep a straight face with all that wet noise in the background.

Chanyeol kicks his feet out from under himself, unbalancing. "I was! I did- I finished all the editing. I was due a break too." He's flushed hot right across the back of his neck as he tucks his legs back in. Kyungsoo pats the couch, just beside his foot.

On screen the two boys have moved from the couch to the bed, seemingly making twice as much noise now they have twice as much room. It's not really Kyungsoo's thing, these setups made to look like two actors are a real couple. For a while it's more interesting just watching Chanyeol watch, sleeve covering his mouth and his eyes wide as Kyungsoo's ever seen them. He's taken with it for whatever reason.

"So, you like this one," Kyungsoo prompts when he's had enough of that. The video is Japanese and heavily pixelated, and Chanyeol must only understand every few words. This is all.. Kyungsoo couldn't really place what exactly it is, but he'd be mussing Chanyeol's hair and kissing his flushed cheeks if boundaries allowed. Touching when Chanyeol's like this is negotiable, but considering how tightly balled up he is Kyungsoo can take a guess.

"It's just, y'know, if we were gonna, then-" Chanyeol looks away at the keyboard as he says that. "It looks nice, like, hypothetically."

"Yeah?" Kyungsoo shifts just a little, so he's leaning more towards Chanyeol. It's _always_ hypothetical, though less often that it's as direct as this. Chanyeol often finds things he likes, shows (or texts, or blurts it out over breakfast) to Kyungsoo, hoping Kyungsoo will incorporate it in their play sometime. But this.. ok. "Which one are you?"

"Which one do you think," Chanyeol says right into his sleeve, but if only from the tone Kyungsoo catches it. He's not sure if Chanyeol's just getting apprehensive because they don't normally do things like this (or because Kyungsoo was studying, or because..just because moods shift; there's no faultless way of doing this). Or because the fantasy is a little less seamless like this, maybe. Bodies and positions don't matter when it's just words - it doesn't have to make sense how actions transition or how plausible the scenario is.

"Ah, that one," Kyungsoo replies. He looks to the left of the screen and feels in the dip of the cushion Chanyeol trying and failing not to squirm. Chanyeol doesn't always want to be (hypothetically) fucked, but Kyungsoo figures he does now. And that guy is barely 5'6". Kyungsoo's a good boyfriend, and Chanyeol's already flustered, so he just says, "Hypothetically, yeah.

We don't do this together much." It's on the tip of Kyungsoo's tongue to ask if Chanyeol's finally tired out what Kyungsoo offers. It's a joke - Chanyeol never, ever gets any less sensitive to it. "This one special?" He asks instead. Chanyeol's used the word _hypothetical_ maybe 700 times in the months they've been doing this; he's paranoid enough without Kyungsoo playfully hinting that this is a bad sign.

Chanyeol makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a little cough. Kyungsoo prefers his porn in still pictures and writing, if any, so on his part they don't really share. Unless Chanyeol flicks through at his own pace, usually with his nose wrinkled. "I don't normally find stuff that's nice all the way through," Chanyeol says, "I can just close my eyes. On my own- whatever they're doing. I can just skip parts or not watch. But I like this one." The would-be-Kyungsoo flips would-be-Chanyeol easily onto his front, dips down and sucks a kiss into his shoulder. Chanyeol coughs into his sleeve again. Kyungsoo realises then that Chanyeol's already given this entire clip a test drive. "Is it ok?"

Kyungsoo nods before he even asks, "That you're showing me?"

Chanyeol clamps his teeth together for a long moment before he nods, too. That wasn't what he meant.

"You mean would I want to do it?" Kyungsoo tries again, and Chanyeol nods immediately this time.

It's.. well, it's just straightforward sex. Kyungsoo can't say he sees the appeal in recreating a fumbling first time himself, but then Chanyeol's never had to experience one. Whether it's natural or well-acted they're both clumsy and sweet, and as these things go Kyungsoo supposes they've got the fake connection thing down pretty well.

From experience Kyungsoo knows Chanyeol likes the idea of being held down, opened up, adored the entire time- this isn't anything surprising. Just pretty boring. And not even at a good angle, in his opinion. But they look in love, and as a visual that's evidently working for Chanyeol. "You're so cute, you know?" Chanyeol purses his lips tight and Kyungsoo smiles at him, lopsided. "I'm not teasing. You are. And that can be us."

Kyungsoo points to the boy face down in the sheets, half Chanyeol's size, rocking back against two fingers. One less than Kyungsoo usually (hypothetically) gives Chanyeol. To Kyungsoo the guy kneeling behind him seems like he's mostly just guessing at how to do this and what happens next. If it really was them Kyungsoo wouldn't be unsure like that, but nagging as that thought is that's not the point. "That's you. That's me," Kyungsoo says. When he looks back Chanyeol is biting his lip instead.

Considering there's everything left to happen, there's only 8 minutes of the video left, and at least one of those will be the scene winding down, maybe he needs a little direction.

"Chanyeollie, are you going to catch up?" Kyungsoo asks softly, a smile in his tone. Chanyeol's back straightens a little. He still looks caught off guard, silly pup.

As usual Chanyeol's in clothes that swamp him, but Kyungsoo could tell he was getting uncomfortable from the way his squirming shifted from full body wriggles to these small stiff movements that won't create friction. Chanyeol groans something under his breath as he immediately does just that, pushing a hand under the long hem of his shirt.

"There you go," Kyungsoo praises absently, pretending it's only because he's interested in the video that he's not watching Chanyeol figure out how to get comfortable and keep everything under his clothing.

Kyungsoo drifts between the screen and Chanyeol, keeping an eye on the time, watching his hand jerking rapid under his clothes. Kyungsoo doesn't need boundaries, but Chanyeol was waiting for him to say that it's ok, and now he's flushed so dark he looks like he might blow a blood vessel before anything else.

Maybe this just isn't Kyungsoo's kind of thing, because he's translating most of the action into words in his head - to save and use later - rather than he is any kind of interested by it. He looks away again when he hears a quiet call of his name, but Chanyeol doesn't look aware that he did it. Much more interesting.

"Yeollie." Kyungsoo shifts just a little closer, repeats it until he has Chanyeol's focus. "Can I touch?" He asks, and Chanyeol stills for a moment. "Is that alright?"

Without the rustle of fabric and with Chanyeol suddenly holding his breath, the sound from the video is suddenly louder. Even Kyungsoo knows what a few of those words mean. (But then he does have a boyfriend who's learning Japanese. And into hentai.)

"Yeah," Chanyeol blinks away from the screen and starts breathing again with a hitch. "Touch if you want." Slowly and then steadily Chanyeol finds his pace again, sinking back into the couch. Kyungsoo quickly has a hand on his thigh, the other thumbing around the hot shell of his ear. He rakes his short nails through Chanyeol's hair, down his nape. On screen the couple are facing each other now, locked together. Would-be-Kyungsoo is jerking his would-be-Chanyeol faster than he's fucking him, both of them willing him to come first. The panting is so loud it distorts out of the speakers a little.

"That's you, and that's me," Kyungsoo reminds Chanyeol, kissing the thick tendon standing out below his jaw. Chanyeol makes the most helpless little sound, so Kyungsoo grips his leg just a bit tighter. Kyungsoo's got him, whether this is successful in the end or just new and kind of scary.

In moments of would-be-Chanyeol streaking his belly and would-be-Kyungsoo's hand, Chanyeol's pace falters, his hips lifting from the couch. He's only watching out of the corner of his eye now, half focused, half lost in his head. Kyungsoo is the only person Chanyeol _wants_ to have sex with, and even then he doesn't want to _have_ sex at all. Kyungsoo uses his weight and his muscle, touches Chanyeol's back and ears and sometimes his throat. He tells Chanyeol so many filthy (hypothetical) things he could do (is doing, with some imagination) to him. And It was never all that awkward, with Kyungsoo already preferring his porn in words and Chanyeol easy to figure out.

Doing it this way is definitely really different - none of the intimacy of a scenario created just for him. A lot of distracting noise. And usually they're in bed, or the shower, or Chanyeol's at least not suddenly regretting everything as his senses come back to him pretty much the moment the now sticky lining of his sweats plasters to his skin. Ugh.

"I'm gonna.. We can talk, I'll just.." he holds his wet hand safely away from his hoodie and the couch cushions. The five second peak maybe wasn't worth the gross that's followed.

"Yeah, you go." Chanyeol's unsteady on his legs, so Kyungsoo gives him a helping push to get him upright. "I'll be here. No rush," Kyungsoo reassures him, picking his book back up and hiding a smile behind it at the sight of Chanyeol waddling away to the bathroom.


End file.
